As mosquitoes buzzed in my ears, I stayed awake and thought how my birthday will be and all I could think of was “March Past”, “Man-o-war”, “Sitting under sun” and other boring NYSC camp activities till my eyes dozed off in sleep.
December 7th, 2016 was here and I was excited as every normal human being on their birthday little did I know NYSc had plans for me. I got ready, had a light make-up, sprayed a nice perfume having in mind maybe I will meet and talk with my crush. Heading towards the parade ground, I heard a shout “ Happy Birthday Chioma” and well every other corper walking on the road knew it was my day, but it wasn’t a bad thing; I was a mini-celebrity, then I found out I had 3 other birthday mates in the same camp, who fortunately went to the same university as I did. We then decided to shut down the “Mmami” market that night.
Getting to the “Mmami” market every “cool” spot was already booked, I just planned to eat fish “again” and chill with a couple of friends. Back to the parade ground, “man-o-war” was going on and people were climbing robes, jumping some high tyres, crawling under nets and just then I heard a soldier shout “otondo” come and climb and resisted at first as my khaki trousers were so fitted that any extra movement aside walking and reduce my bride price as my butt will be revealed to the world. But hey! how bad can it be?. so I started climbing till I got to the top and looked down, I almost fainted, thoughts ran through my head like “who sent me message?”, “Is this how life will end for me?” I peeped down again and I see cameras all upon my butt and I thought again to myself “Krakstv”, “funnynaijapictures” and all them Instagram buddies will carry my video. Yeeeee My own has finished, but then I thought “maybe this is a Kim Kardashian way of getting popular and maybe it’s not going to be that bad, I tried to comfort myself.
Carefully, I slid down the robes with my legs and arms wrapped around it, with my butt out still and a 5 mins robe sliding took me 30 mins to get down but I got down with my dignity and trousers intact.
The evening came and it was time to get my groove on but sleep was in my eyes as I stepped out to the “Mmami” market and behold I saw my crush, wait, is he kissing someone? Well maybe it is not him, I walked slowly under the tree to see clearly and lo and behold my heart was shattered, my crush was in the arms of another woman but my birthday still had to go on and I headed to the party venue and with both eyes and mouth opened, my friends were nowhere to be found except my birthday mates and their friends. After being compelled to stay, I had to leave and go back as I wasn’t feeling the birthday vibe anymore and on my way back to the hostel I hear a voice saying “Hello” “Hi” and I turned back and there I see a tall, dark and handsome guy with the perfect set of teeth and most beautiful smile I have ever seen and under my breath I murmured thank You, God.
We had a long stroll, forgetting we had to retire to our different hostels, we got to my hostel and he pecks me on the cheek and whispers goodnight and happy birthday.
That night, I blushed myself to sleep as it was truly a “Happy Birthday”