Corpers Lodge

Ye! Ye!! Ye!!! Help me oh!!!!! Ah!

My sumptuously chilled garri, sprinkled with a robust share of golden tanned groundnunts, hung mid-air and was gloriously close to my mouth when I heard this disturbing noise. Shuo! Na who dey shout like dat sef? Na so my olofofo antenna turn 360 degree face my gate. I run comot with my precious garium sulphate for hand to avoid stories that touch (God punish devil!), na em I see my fellow corpers and towns people dey pursue person wen forget cloth for house like say e just begin craze!!! As confam AREA, me sef follow join na, asper warri no dey carry last. Many things come dey run through my mind! If na thief, make dem no do jungle justice o or if na money dem dey spray, make me sef collect small inside!!! No be say I greedy but if money dey, no be garri and groundnut without sugar I go dey chop.

Ehen, back to the gist. After many pushing, make I pass, I come fit clear road meet the person wey put everybody for work. Oghene! Na so I open mouth as I see who all of us dey pursue…

Shuo solubo! Nkiru! Hottest corper in our batch! la hot! Curvaceous babe! Sexy mamacita corperita yamarita babe! Na she troway cloth dey use her own hand reduce her bride price?! Anh! Anh!! What appin?

Na so I put ear for ground unto the matter o! I come hear say Nkiru, aka ‘baby la hot’, corpers lodge get yama yama toilet wey substances of even past corpers done block sote dem no fit flush again o!! So when Nature come flash Nkiru for phone, she come decide to go outside, around one bush side wey network dey, make she call back ooo! E never even tey wey Nkiru start the phone call, na em she come dey feel some kain things dey drop for her body. As she look up, she just sight devil beans(our Yoruba brothers dey call am “wè rè kpè”) and as breeze just dey jejeli blow, the beans sef just dey jejeli fall on top her body!

Omo na so  Nkiru jump o, she come begin to dey feel signals for her body o! And as a city babe, na only gist she done hear about am ni! And dem been tell am say the cure na palm oil! But Nkiru oil don finish and allawee never enter! Na so she just start to dey run! The worst part na say she never even cut call yet o! The phone call just dey follow am up and down!!! Chai! There is God oh!

You see, this unfortunate incident triggered a serious train of thought, in my medula oblongata (oyibo!) But seriously, Why? Why?? Why??? Why e be say most of our PPA (place of primary assignment) dey hardly provide better corpers lodge for our youth corpers?

And the thing be say this Nkiru quanta dey very avoidable o! I no fit even blame the babe because if she use that toilet, na disease or infection. If she no use am, na anoda tori! Hmmm… the things wey we dey experience unto say we dey serve our country!

My pipu, abeg make una share your own crazy ppa experience. Make e no be like say na only me waka come.

Advice: Una prospective corpers, begin dey pray and fast say make you get good ppa wey go give you good lodgings or else na unto OYO levels!

Lesson for the week: LOOK BEFORE YOU ANSWER PHONE CALL! Ayaf talk my own oh!

Let’s learn to keep our environment clean and tidy. Say no to littering your environment! Say no to dumping your bin in the drainage! And above all, say no to ‘answering phone call outside’! Remember, cleanliness is next to godliness.

Corpers Wee!

God bless Nigeria!

God bless her Youth Corpers!

God bless TCD!

Na who write the tori? Na Boluwatife Durojaiye o

Na who confirm am come add pepper and small salt??

Na Eromz Adene, John Legbedion and Oladiji-Wusu Edememe o! Dem three get amebor Olympics on dia own! Lol


© 2018 Adene Eromosele Peter

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